FAQ

A link to my virtual office will be sent to you once we create the time for your first session.

The first session will last 90 minutes. The following sessions will be about 50 minutes. But if together, we determine that longer sessions would accomplish your goals better, then we will adjust as needed. Our goal is for you to get the most from our time together.

If you cannot make it to a session, then please give me a24-hour advanced notice. I will do the same for you. Of course, emergencies happen occasionally, and that is entirely understandable. Not showing up or calling will result in the expectation that you will pay half of the session fee.

Pick up your phone and call (302) 270-8503 for your free 30-minute consultation.

You can also scroll to the bottom of the page and fill out the form, and I will contact you shortly. Typically, I will respond within a few hours, but every now and then, it’s after the weekend.

During our session, we will go over anything that you agreed to do between sessions. We will discuss the best direction to go for our time, and we will dive into that goal. It will be a lot like sitting with a friend who guides you through a conversation that you choose to have.

If something becomes overwhelming, we can move in a different direction and choose to come back to the issue later. Sometimes, having the opportunity to think over something alone is helpful, but at other times, it feels better to walk through a problem together.

Whatever we do, please rest assured that you ultimately get to choose the direction and the depth of our work. There is never judgment from me, and this is your life. Many decisions are taken from us, our boundaries are violated, and we must deal with the pieces that are left, so you must get to choose when we are together.

My clients are typically women between the ages of 15 and 70 years old. I have also helped couples and partners of victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Partners have a vital role to play in the healing process when their significant other has been a victim of childhood abuse, especially when the abuse was sexual. This brings a unique set of challenges for the partner or spouse. I offer to counsel and consult for the partner individually or in a group setting.

The need for this type of help for the spouse became evident when a man asked my husband, 20 years ago, how he had coped with the difficulties that I had. My husband and I were surprised to find this was an area where support was desperately needed. The survivor’s husband was overjoyed to find someone who understood the difficulties he was experiencing due to his wife’s past abuse. Partners want to comfort and help the survivor, but they often do not know how. It can feel like the survivor is pushing the spouse away when what is really needed is a safe and loving connection between the survivor and their partner.

Often, the spouse knows before the survivor that there has been a trigger that has created distress. After all, the partner can see the survivor’s face and body language. What was a beautifully warm and safe touch may fill the survivor with fear or even terror. How can the partner help the survivor feel safe? How can the partner offer the protection that they long to give the survivor?

Experiences like these bring frustration and fill partners with sadness. If your partner struggles, we offer support groups for partners of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Mention this to me during our first phone call or in session, and I will give you the information needed for this.

A resounding NO! I have been judged, which is miserable. My job is not to determine if what you are doing is right or wrong. That is between you and God – period – end of story.

The one thing that will bring a passionate response from me is to hear of someone judging another person. That’s not okay. We all will sin (Romans 3:23). I guarantee you that if someone is judging you, then they are sinning. Because EVERYONE, except Jesus, has and is sinning.

A glimpse into the life of Melodi…

A little more than a decade ago, I lived in a place that looked a lot like Stepford. You know the place where the wives cooked, cleaned, let their husbands do nothing, took care of the kids, and these women even taught their kids school.

These wives cooked not only for their large families but also hundreds of people if needed. And they looked like Leave it to Beaver’s mom, June Cleaver. They constantly smiled in public. (Do you hear the eery music?)

The children were perfectly dressed, the little boys had perfect haircuts, and the little girls wore dresses and braids. On the outside, it used to appear perfectly peaceful and beautiful.

BUT IT WAS ALL A LIE.

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t read Stepford Wives, then you may not know that the men from “the club” had a clone of their wives made. The wife was a ROBOT.

I can tell you that this life is miserable because all these people were real. I can tell you that the wrongs done in the people’s homes within this community were dark and twisted.

I can also tell you that judgment was brutal, and the weak and suffering were pummeled with judgment. I was weak and suffering, and my kids were part of the weak and suffering. Those who were judgmental had no care for the heartaches and oppression that they inflicted.

I am sure those are all strong words, but many could tell you unspeakably brutal stories of the evils occurring. This is part of my story of being a co-survivor of the spiritual abuse of judgment. From one survivor to another, you have my word that I will never judge.

This decision is up to you. Have you noticed a trend? Everything we do will be your choice.

If you choose to work on things between sessions, then, of course, you will attain your goals faster. But if you need me to do the work with you, then I am ready to do that.

Sometimes, my clients return to sessions without the work that we agreed on being done. If that’s the case, I understand that life happens, and we will pick up where we left off the last time and begin there. There are no grades for work done or not done.

No. I have been known to cheer when a client becomes angry. Things like past abuse or spiritual abuses can lead us to believe that being angry is sinful and wrong, and this is a lie. Jesus got angry.

Does anger have a place? Yes. Can it be overdone? Of course. But if you are unwilling to feel the emotions inside of you, you are only deceiving yourself. God sees what is in our heart, so even if you don’t let the anger out, He still knows that it is there (1 Samuel 16:7).

I don’t expect you to know all the answers. If you did, then you wouldn’t need me to help you.

Sometimes, we will explore together, and other times, you can take the question home and consider it alone. And yes, there are times when we decide that the answer isn’t relevant, and we move on. Remember, you will get to choose.

No. It is entirely up to you if you want faith integrated into our sessions or not. I know that some individuals feel safer with a Christian helper, so I want that population to see that they can feel safe with me.

But I am willing to work with those who need my expertise, no matter what faith or religion they engage. The Apostle Paul did this very thing (check out Acts 17:23), as well, so this tells me that it is exactly the right thing to do.

There is no other person on the planet who believes exactly the way I do. And that goes for any two people on the planet.

My late husband and I agreed on so much. We were best friends and talked for hours nearly every day. (I can assure you that they were fascinating talks of depth, or neither of us would have continued.) But neither of us thought for a moment that we both agreed on everything.

If you find yourself in a place that insists that one person is right and everyone else is wrong and should change their beliefs, beware because that is a dangerous place.

You can rest assured that what you share will be kept confidential.

There are only three exceptions to this.

• If you intend to harm yourself or someone else

• If you disclose abuse of a child or elder

• If for some reason I am served a subpoena, the law requires me to disclose necessary information.

Of course. Everyone on the planet who has ever been living has sinned and sins. I do my best to live as Jesus wants me to live, but I am human, and as a human, sin is a constant.

Yes. I have.

In my early 20s, after I was married, my husband and I realized that I was carrying very, very heavy burdens from my childhood sexual abuse. We wanted to be friends and happily married, but the weight of my past was too heavy for both of us together.

Our pastor suggested a Christian Counseling center in Akron, Ohio, and I went for counseling. It was a life-changing experience. Our marriage went from “nothing to be celebrated” to the most incredible relationship two people could have.

Although we disagreed some, we rarely argued, and he always was cautiously watching Stepford, if you read my answer to Will you judge me based on your values and beliefs?

I have used various coaches throughout my adult life. These coaches moved me from where I was and forward at speeds that I could have never made independently. Sometimes, I wonder if a coach should always be part of my world.

Great question. If you pass me when I am driving, you will hear the bass in the music I am engaged in at the time. Music certainly helps me cope with the difficulties in my world. I am a single parent.

I have adult children, and I must be both parents to them, as well. The joy of having a great guy ask to marry your daughter is shadowed by the realization that this should be my late husband’s decision and experience, not mine.

There are days when the furnace stops or someone tells you that there is insect damage, and I must deal with all that and more.

On days like this, I get my earbuds and head to the water for a long fast walk. Or I get my treadmill turned on and walk or run. Then, I usually journal about my thoughts, feelings, and the experience. These activities usually bring me back to a peaceful place, and I go on with my day.

Well, let’s set the stage. I had walked on top of a ground bee’s nest, days before I heard it raining, hard. Covered in stings from the bees, I listened to the rain beating down on the house. I knew that there was an issue at the back door, which would cause the rain to come into the house and down into our finished basement if the drain didn’t work right.

I went to the back door, and I could see that the water was lying in the area that could be a problem. It was late July, just weeks after becoming a widow, so I put shoes on and walked out to get a shovel. My son was 11, and although he would have helped me, I wanted to take care of the problem and go to bed.

So, I started digging in the pouring rain. The drain was clogged, so I had to make sure that our basement didn’t flood. Perhaps, that was the first time I had tried to dig in gravel mixed with dirt, which was impossible. I would dig a while and then cry, pray, and dig more. That was the first time that I let myself feel frustrated with God.

“Why in the world would you take him?” More digging. More crying. “Can’t you see that I cannot do this?” More digging. More crying.

Life is real; life is hard; everyone must deal with it. But God knows our sorrows, and I believe that He cried with me that night.